It been a bit long since I posted so I thought I’d just give a quick run through of the past two months.

Two months ago I got made redundant, so the first thing I did was cut a mohawk as in the last entry. Since then its pretty much been a big holiday. I’ve applied for a few jobs. Had an interview at Woosh for 3rd/4th level System Engineer but unfortunately my networking experience wasn’t up to it. That would have been a sweet job. Applied for a 1st level support position at AUT supporting students and staff, but they haven’t contacted me back on them so I’m still looking.

Here’s what I’ve been up to:

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Been riding my new quad quite a bit, though not as much as I would like.

Went riding with Shelley out at the Woodhill bike park which was fucking mean except my battery was flat and we had to keep roll starting it which sucked. I rolled it though which was quite fun, going through the blue enduro tracks, straddled a stump going down an uneven little rise. Unfortunately it stalled and we had to drag it out. Thanks for helping me drag my quad around that day Shellz sorry for being a drag lol.

Then went again the next week with her and Tesh, right after and during somewhat heavy rain so there were puddles EVERYWHERE. I got fucking soaked. Quickly learnt that quads get bogged down quite easy. Tried to hit the puddles hard but almost got thrown over the handle bars to meet the bow wave that splashes back over you. Have to kick it down to second or first and give it shit. Rode some new tracks. Then got back to the van and found that my keyfob in my pants doesn’t like water. And there’s no cell reception there to get my dad to bring my spare keyfob. So Shelley had to drive me back to my house and then back to the bike park before 5pm (got there just in time) to load the quad and leave. What a doofus. Then her horn got stuck on which was pretty funny, had to pull over and rip out some arcing wires from the engine bay. Taped them up no worries.

When I used to go down the race on Nicks property I used to only be in third but now I can do it in fourth. Kick it out round the corners with my new nerf bars which allow you to put your weight right on the edge off the bike for real tight turns. The tyres are really worn now though so it gets a bit slippery and dodgey. Brad took it for a squirt and almost slid it through a fence lol.

Nerf Bars

I even started to jump it. Shelley was telling me Nick gave her a jumping lesson and she wants to do freestyle, so I’m like well if she can do it I can do it lol. Started going off this little rise at the end of Nicks race. Get about a foot or two. Pretty small its good to see how the bike handles in the air. Then nick showed me this other jump. Which is quite a bit steeper. Did it a few times but just got to get my head around the ’scariness’ of it. Nick did it on the quad and was higher than mine but it looks effortless and easy. Probly cos he’s been riding since he was 5.

Oh well pratice makes perfect (slash broken leg).

Then I went on a mean journey up to Riverhead forest. It’s mostly gravel and with the worn tyres its mean for getting sideways round corners… so much fun, so fast. Some cute girl out walking waved to me on Ireland road, and some lady tried to throw a shovel at me on Horse-shoe bush road… yeah.

I want to try Race to the Sky on it just for fun and to say I did it. But it was shut down (and it’s in Queenstown).

Fuck I love my quad.

Me and Nick are trademe whores. What can I say.

I wake up about 6pm after my last nightshift and find a text from him asking if I wanted to go on a roadtrip the next day. I said yeah sweet and texted the people I was buying my motox boots and helmet from and told them not to post them cos I was coming down country.

So I went for a drink with Becky and B-rad up at the trig. Sitting on the back of the utes watching the sunset over the Waitoki valley drinking beer is fucking mean (if you replace beer with something tastier anyway).

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So I’ve been lazy. Read Tigers new years excursions and decided I should get around to doing mine.

I was working new years eve so me and Brad, Nick, and Tesh decided to head up to Pakiri, one of the the meanest, whitest beaches NZ has for new years eve eve. They got there new years eve eve eve night and smashed some pipi’s (literally). Brad even cooked some up and ate them, got drunk and consequently vomited them back up. He no longer eats seafood.

So they had already been there for a day and a night by the time I got there after work on new years eve eve. They had been on a 8 day bender by this time, consuming a 40ounce bottle of Jack Daniels every night leading up to new years eve. Sometimes more than 1 and other times throwing in the odd bottle of Appleton Rum.

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Moved Skinny down to Wellington on the 3rd (Saturday). 3 days into the new year and I’m already going for a road trip lol. Loaded up the van with all his stuff and took it down there. Ass end was so low. Driving down we listened to the audiobook Bill Bryson’s “A Short History of Nearly Everything” which is pure win if you wanna know tonnes of random little facts about how stuff around the world and how science stuff works.

Yeah, skinny got a job software testing for the government, got a nice little flat in Newtown. Wellington was pretty nice, went for a few drives. It’s actually amazing how much more relaxed Wellington is than Auckland. Tonnes of bogans in Newtown as well, was cool. Lots of weirdos tho. We started yelling out “Weirdo!” everytime we saw one but then on observing that there were shitloads of weirdo’s around we started yelling out “Wellingtonian!” instead (no offense to any Wellingtonian’s).

I went and watched him on his BMX at island bay skatepark, he’s pretty mean on a BMX. Should’ve taken some vids but no camera. Yeah.

Was gonna see Tiger while I was in town but she didn’t reply to my email so wasn’t worried, think she was in Christchurch anyway lol.

I left on the Monday, after dropping Skinny off at work – bout 830am dept time. Was cool on the way back, pulled over for a rest, jumped in the back in my hammock and read my book. Bill Bryson’s “A Walk in the Woods”. Dude is a genius.

Got back to DF at about 6pm, bit long but did have quite a few rests.

So we’re at the pub on Thursday night, me Becky, Brad, Nick, and then Letitia turned up later on, and Amy came and hung out when she finished on the bar. Dunno where Shelley was? Think she had work the next day. The owner lady always tops up the jukebox with money from the till for us.

We’re sitting outside at the picnic table, cranking old school stuff like sabbath and eric clapton, all of us pretty wasted.

Topic of laughter for the night was saying smashed pipi, pipi smasher, because the week before. We had been offered (very stupidly) a gig at the Smashed Pipi pub in Mangawhai after some chick at a jam heard us (read: Joe) and thought we were awesome. Which we are, most definitely not.

Topic of laughter, because (as you will know if you already have a dirty mind) pipi representing the female genitalia, and smashing, the act of… fornication. Plus we are apparently 14 years old, thus making it funny. So you can imagine all the euphanisms we were coming up with, including telling threatening each other that we would smash the others pipi if they weren’t careful. Aren’t we evolved.

I get up to go and put on another song, I think I was trying to put on Deep Purple or Cream or something (there was no metal on the jukebox) and instead of hitting 81 on the thing, I hit 61. Which happened to be Vengabus, by the Vengaboys. Man did I feel like a dick, everyone cracks up laughing and points at me while I sit back down, and then they’re trying to make up a combination of my name and vengaboys, with gay taunts and what not. It was to be expected.

Then someone says, “Oh! The van!”, refering to my green van, “The Vengabus!”, “AHAHAHA” and everyone cracks up laughing again… classic…

THe Vengabus

Saturday when we’re on our way to get the engine, Brad texts tesh to ask what the plan was that night. She replies, “I reckon we all get drunk and take the vengabus to the smashed pipi.”

Hehe, good times…

Went to the Psycroptic concert on Saturday night. Was mean! Unfortunately Saturday morning I got a killer ear infection and went to the doctors. Had to pay $75 for him to tell me what I already new and get a script for some amoxycillin. Plus I still had a bit of headache and stuff from my sickness before that. So I didn’t drink or mosh to hard.

Shelley’s friend Ella is apparently into pop and stuff but she came anyway. Didn’t ask her if she liked it though. Pretty sure Shelley liked it, Nick and Brad just thought it all sounded the same, and didn’t like the growling vocals. Everyone is like that at the start though. They played Colour of Sleep and Skin Coffin and Lacertine Forest but unfortnately not my favourite song in the whole world, Cruelty Incarnate

Was still good though. Dawn of Azazel and Metal Tower supported them. The bassist in Metal Tower had a Warlock Bass Guitar.

Anyways, here’s some of their tracks if you haven’t heard them before:

They were out of shirts by the time we got there too which sucked. I was going to buy a hoodie for $40 but forgot… (??)

Unfortunately, I am a lazy fuck and I never got around to putting my speakers and central locking cable through, before Sunday but no one else but Nick came with me. Brad went riding, as did Shelley and Tesh. It was a mean sunny day, had a bit of a jam, got yelled at by Nicks mum for distrubing the neighbours, and left at about noon.

I love roadtrips. Grabbed some subway at Bombay. Got down there at about 3, met the dude in New World carpark in a suburb called Gate Pa (wtf?). Checked the guitar out, no wobbly neck, sweet as. Dude gave me some cash for gas which was cool of him, and we decided to go for a drive and check out the Mount (Manganui). Quite a few people on the beach. Nice girls everywhere, including one of my types (black tshirt and jeans on a hot day) lol.

There were tonnes of dicks just driving round and round in their peice of shit cars though.

Left there, Nick had a sleep in the back, while I stalked some chick in a white skyline all the way back to Papakura. Don’t remember what time we got home. Tried out the guitar, its got a mean sound but only on that amp for some reason. Sounds like crap on Nicks amp.

Then stayed up until about 4am playing Far Cry 2 (awesome game).

Man, lots to do this weekend.

Finish at 7am this Sat morning, I’ve gotta get some sleep, then get up, install my front speakers in my van, change the oil, hook up the drivers door central locking, and tune the amp for all the speakers.

Then going to the Psycroptic concert with Joe, Nick, Shelley and her friend Ella, get drunk off my nut, and mosh the fuck out. Should be mean. Gotta buy a Psycroptic Tshirt too. My brother wants to come but he is not 18 for another 15 days. Shame.

Then on Sunday (hopefully not hungover) road trip it down to Tauranga to pick up my gat and amp and hang around Tauranga if its nice weather.

Then on Monday I can install and play Far Cry 2!! Dave bought it in for me tonight, going to be SO mean! Thats another one I can scratch off my list Plus COD5 came out yesterday so hopefully I’ll get my hands on a copy of that soon.

Shit just remembered its my dads birthday on monday too… what am I going to get him… also skinny leaves for Wellington…

Finally got the alarm put in my van today. $168 for the alarm on clearance price, $225 for the install by Warlocks. No one can steal my stuff now… unless they’re really crafty. So just gotta fix up one of the doors that doesn’t central lock, put the front speakers in, tune all the sounds, and she’ll be finished!

So stoked. Hopefully by next week it’ll all be done.

Bought a guitar also. A BC Rich Warlock with a Marshall amp, only 30w but meh.

Shrap says its a piece of shit, and that BC Rich guitars sound like ass, but fuck him lol, he has a $NZ12,000 guitar! Of course anything is going to sound worse than that. Lucky little bastard Doesn’t matter anyway, I’m going to downtune that badboy so much you won’t be able to hear life let alone ass.

Plus, I found out next year
are releasing a new album! W00t! Hopefully it’ll be real deathy/thrashy! So hopefully they’ll be touring again! Hopefully they’ll come here. So full of hope am I.

Yesterday, me and Nick went down to Hastings to pick up and engine for his new Hilux (dudes got like 4 cars now). A Toyota 2L-T, 2.4 litre turbo diesel.

I just got off night shift and he picked me up from work at about 730. Got to Taupo after about 3 hours driving and then through State Highway 5 (the Napier-Taupo Highway). That road is AMAZING! All twisty and wicked views and no houses for miles. Lots of cool looking places to Moto-X too. Awesome road. So want a bike.

Tried to have a sleep on the way down but couldn’t, ended up taking the dash of Nicks van apart while driving on Napier-Taupo road so I could plug in my iPod and cranked some metal instead.

I also took a pad and pen along and did some data normalisation and sorted out the database layout for the new telescum site.

It was such a nice day too, got to Napier and cruised round there. Then onto Hastings, trying to find the place to pick up the engine from but we got lost a bit. Found it, but it looked like no one was home. After about 15 minutes of knocking on the door and trying to figure out how to carry the (heavy-looking) engine around a Hilux Surf, we finally woke the dudes wife up and she moved her jeep for us.

We backed the Hiace up and ended up making a ramp with a plank of wood and dragging it up. It was a heavy peice of shit. We strapped it in and then had another engine which we were delivering to Hastings, so went and found that guy, and dropped it off.

Then back on the road to Taupo. My turn to drive. By this time its about 130pm and I have been without sleep for about 21 hours, but I had a Demon and was sweet. Got to drive all the way back through the Napier-Taupo road, was mean. Except for Nicks van. Its a mean van, but the engine is a little rooted (after like 450,000k’s) so its a bit gutless. You have to gun it on the straight before a hill and then try and keep it going but you always end up having to shift down to 3rd and plodd up the hill at like 50kph. Not so mean. My van powers up hills.

We got to Taupo at about 5pm, and contemplated going to Taranaki because he’d also bought an engine stand from there (yes, Nick is a trademe whore…). But after calling the guy we worked out it would cost the same to freight it as it would cost in diesel.

Went to Pizza Hutt to get some dinner, and they were playing rap or hiphop or some shit in there. I said to the girl who served us (who looked a lot like what I would imagine a 15 year old Lilley to look like – you got a cousin in Taupo Lilley?), “God I feel sorry for you guys, having to listen to this crap all night!”, and she was like “haha, yeah…” and started blushing. Went to wait outside and Nick said to me “I think they actually put that on the stereo”. Lolwhoops!

The manager there looked like a creepy dodgey mother fucker too. Like I touch little girls kinda dodgey. Yuk!

Nick got back behind the wheel and drove until the lookout at Maramarua where we stopped for a rest and I had the longest urination in my entire life. I never knew my bladder could hold that much fluid!!! Lol, sorry, Too much information!

Then I drove back, the rest of the way. Nick fell asleep and by now its like 8pm, 28 hours without sleep, so I was swerving a little bit, maybe shouldn’t have driven lol but we’re still here.

Got back to my work at about 930pm got in my van and raced nick home. He drove on the motorway without his lights for like half the way back, crazy mother fucker.

Yeah fun times.