It been a bit long since I posted so I thought I’d just give a quick run through of the past two months.

Two months ago I got made redundant, so the first thing I did was cut a mohawk as in the last entry. Since then its pretty much been a big holiday. I’ve applied for a few jobs. Had an interview at Woosh for 3rd/4th level System Engineer but unfortunately my networking experience wasn’t up to it. That would have been a sweet job. Applied for a 1st level support position at AUT supporting students and staff, but they haven’t contacted me back on them so I’m still looking.

Here’s what I’ve been up to:

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Been riding my new quad quite a bit, though not as much as I would like.

Went riding with Shelley out at the Woodhill bike park which was fucking mean except my battery was flat and we had to keep roll starting it which sucked. I rolled it though which was quite fun, going through the blue enduro tracks, straddled a stump going down an uneven little rise. Unfortunately it stalled and we had to drag it out. Thanks for helping me drag my quad around that day Shellz sorry for being a drag lol.

Then went again the next week with her and Tesh, right after and during somewhat heavy rain so there were puddles EVERYWHERE. I got fucking soaked. Quickly learnt that quads get bogged down quite easy. Tried to hit the puddles hard but almost got thrown over the handle bars to meet the bow wave that splashes back over you. Have to kick it down to second or first and give it shit. Rode some new tracks. Then got back to the van and found that my keyfob in my pants doesn’t like water. And there’s no cell reception there to get my dad to bring my spare keyfob. So Shelley had to drive me back to my house and then back to the bike park before 5pm (got there just in time) to load the quad and leave. What a doofus. Then her horn got stuck on which was pretty funny, had to pull over and rip out some arcing wires from the engine bay. Taped them up no worries.

When I used to go down the race on Nicks property I used to only be in third but now I can do it in fourth. Kick it out round the corners with my new nerf bars which allow you to put your weight right on the edge off the bike for real tight turns. The tyres are really worn now though so it gets a bit slippery and dodgey. Brad took it for a squirt and almost slid it through a fence lol.

Nerf Bars

I even started to jump it. Shelley was telling me Nick gave her a jumping lesson and she wants to do freestyle, so I’m like well if she can do it I can do it lol. Started going off this little rise at the end of Nicks race. Get about a foot or two. Pretty small its good to see how the bike handles in the air. Then nick showed me this other jump. Which is quite a bit steeper. Did it a few times but just got to get my head around the ’scariness’ of it. Nick did it on the quad and was higher than mine but it looks effortless and easy. Probly cos he’s been riding since he was 5.

Oh well pratice makes perfect (slash broken leg).

Then I went on a mean journey up to Riverhead forest. It’s mostly gravel and with the worn tyres its mean for getting sideways round corners… so much fun, so fast. Some cute girl out walking waved to me on Ireland road, and some lady tried to throw a shovel at me on Horse-shoe bush road… yeah.

I want to try Race to the Sky on it just for fun and to say I did it. But it was shut down (and it’s in Queenstown).

Fuck I love my quad.

Me and Nick are trademe whores. What can I say.

I wake up about 6pm after my last nightshift and find a text from him asking if I wanted to go on a roadtrip the next day. I said yeah sweet and texted the people I was buying my motox boots and helmet from and told them not to post them cos I was coming down country.

So I went for a drink with Becky and B-rad up at the trig. Sitting on the back of the utes watching the sunset over the Waitoki valley drinking beer is fucking mean (if you replace beer with something tastier anyway).

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Well I should’ve posted this last month when it happened (17th Jan) but I am lazy.

Heaps of people came. All our crew was there, all her friends from school (of which a couple of older siblings are our mates so they turned up too). Her friends from work and stuff, which some of them were gay and lesbian which was pretty crack up. And all her friends from work were coming up to me and going “Oh, you’re Chumba, heard a lot about you,” and stuff I guess she talks bout me at work lol.

Someone gave her a painting of her ute “Danger” which was a mean gift. Sadly tho, that ute was written off a while ago when some girl driving a honda went up her ass. Nick bought it off Shelley’s insurance company and now it sits in a shed waiting to be turned into a rat rod – a side project for later lol.

Her boss gave her a socket/toolset, because they saw her in the carpark of work pulling her ute apart to fix a speaker and stuff and were like “umm, wtf are you doing?” apparently. Lol.

I gave her a ticket to the Summer Slaughter in March which should be fucking mean.

Dying Fetus, Necrophagist, The Faceless, Aborted, Ulcerate and Dawn of Azazel in one room. Its a small room too… the Transmission room in Auckland. Mosh pit will be crazy!! Its so mean that she’s into metal and likes metal concerts. How many girls you know like that? Fuckall thats how many!

Also gave her a little comic book which I randomly picked up at a bookstore and thought it was her kind of humour. It is not unlike the Cyanide and Happiness comic on explosm.net

Not too much death metal was played but it probably would’ve scared off the townies like at Nicks 21st lol. Still a good mix of Ozzy and Black Label Society and stuff though.

Got pretty drunk off a couple mugs of JacknCoke had a feed and got undrunk. Everyone else was quite well pissed, except for Shelley, and people driving. Bo was wrestling everyone which got annoying quickly, but thats what you get when you hang around with a 10 ft maori so whatever lol.

Whipped out the cake and she cut it up with the sword from their foyer wall, like Nick did at his 21st. Did the 21 shots thing, which was Baileys mixed with contreau. I thought the person turning 21 was supposed to drink all of them but apparently that might leave you paralytic lol, dunno not really a big drinker, so everyone had a shot instead.

Joel got real drunk and we wouldn’t let him drive home but it was OK because he couldn’t walk. We dragged him inside threw him on the couch and Nick’s mum took his pants… (so he couldn’t sneak off). Everyone crashed about 3am, except for a few of us who crashed at like 4am. I just slept in my van in the hammock. Which was suprisingly uncomfortable. Brad had been in it while I was driving a couple of nights before and stretched it out a bit (and ripped one of the hooks throught the sheet metal lol).

Then the next day was her actually birthday and we all rocked to the hot rod show where it was a super hot sunny day. And I HAET the sun (and sunscreen) so I wore a black hoodie (with the hood up) from the car and dark glasses to cover up. I didn’t have a hat though so my face burnt . People must have thought I was such a wierdo… well, they probably think that anyway haha.

Shelley bought her new ute, Sabbath into the showgrounds to show it off. Its a pretty cool kingswood, black, and we sat on it so we could see the motorcross show over everyone elses heads. Then went back to hers for some more cake and cleaned/packed up.

Mean weekend with mean people.

So I’ve been lazy. Read Tigers new years excursions and decided I should get around to doing mine.

I was working new years eve so me and Brad, Nick, and Tesh decided to head up to Pakiri, one of the the meanest, whitest beaches NZ has for new years eve eve. They got there new years eve eve eve night and smashed some pipi’s (literally). Brad even cooked some up and ate them, got drunk and consequently vomited them back up. He no longer eats seafood.

So they had already been there for a day and a night by the time I got there after work on new years eve eve. They had been on a 8 day bender by this time, consuming a 40ounce bottle of Jack Daniels every night leading up to new years eve. Sometimes more than 1 and other times throwing in the odd bottle of Appleton Rum.

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So we’re at the pub on Thursday night, me Becky, Brad, Nick, and then Letitia turned up later on, and Amy came and hung out when she finished on the bar. Dunno where Shelley was? Think she had work the next day. The owner lady always tops up the jukebox with money from the till for us.

We’re sitting outside at the picnic table, cranking old school stuff like sabbath and eric clapton, all of us pretty wasted.

Topic of laughter for the night was saying smashed pipi, pipi smasher, because the week before. We had been offered (very stupidly) a gig at the Smashed Pipi pub in Mangawhai after some chick at a jam heard us (read: Joe) and thought we were awesome. Which we are, most definitely not.

Topic of laughter, because (as you will know if you already have a dirty mind) pipi representing the female genitalia, and smashing, the act of… fornication. Plus we are apparently 14 years old, thus making it funny. So you can imagine all the euphanisms we were coming up with, including telling threatening each other that we would smash the others pipi if they weren’t careful. Aren’t we evolved.

I get up to go and put on another song, I think I was trying to put on Deep Purple or Cream or something (there was no metal on the jukebox) and instead of hitting 81 on the thing, I hit 61. Which happened to be Vengabus, by the Vengaboys. Man did I feel like a dick, everyone cracks up laughing and points at me while I sit back down, and then they’re trying to make up a combination of my name and vengaboys, with gay taunts and what not. It was to be expected.

Then someone says, “Oh! The van!”, refering to my green van, “The Vengabus!”, “AHAHAHA” and everyone cracks up laughing again… classic…

THe Vengabus

Saturday when we’re on our way to get the engine, Brad texts tesh to ask what the plan was that night. She replies, “I reckon we all get drunk and take the vengabus to the smashed pipi.”

Hehe, good times…

Nick bought another engine, so it was off to Wellsford yesterday. This time a Toyota 3L (2.8litre diesel). Cruised up state highway 16 (the back way, some damn nice views that way), cranking Static-X’s new album.

Got up there, dragged the thing into the van and onto a tire. It was way heavier than the 2L we picked up from Hastings that time. Lucky we had Brad to help us. The guy he bought it off then let us grab a bunch of other stuff off a Hilux carcass sitting in the paddock. Can never have too many spare parts.

His project lux is getting there. He sold his V8 beast a few weeks ago and spent the money on a 39 Ford Bonus pickup with a V8 in it, which is now sitting at the factory. Saw it the other night when me and Shellz went to grab some tires off “Danger”, her old holden ute that got rear ended. She bought a new ute too, another Holden, but gloss black. Looks badass.

That family has an abnormal amount of cars. Nick has 4, 3 of which are projects. His lux, the Bonus, and the aforementioned damaged Danger, which is to become a rat rod in the future, the “Dairy Flat Rat” or something to that effect. Should be mean, flamethrowers, body dropped to an inch off the ground, just real rough and dirty, with a two-tone bare metal and rust paintjob. Or something along those lines anyway.

Went to the Psycroptic concert on Saturday night. Was mean! Unfortunately Saturday morning I got a killer ear infection and went to the doctors. Had to pay $75 for him to tell me what I already new and get a script for some amoxycillin. Plus I still had a bit of headache and stuff from my sickness before that. So I didn’t drink or mosh to hard.

Shelley’s friend Ella is apparently into pop and stuff but she came anyway. Didn’t ask her if she liked it though. Pretty sure Shelley liked it, Nick and Brad just thought it all sounded the same, and didn’t like the growling vocals. Everyone is like that at the start though. They played Colour of Sleep and Skin Coffin and Lacertine Forest but unfortnately not my favourite song in the whole world, Cruelty Incarnate

Was still good though. Dawn of Azazel and Metal Tower supported them. The bassist in Metal Tower had a Warlock Bass Guitar.

Anyways, here’s some of their tracks if you haven’t heard them before:

They were out of shirts by the time we got there too which sucked. I was going to buy a hoodie for $40 but forgot… (??)

Unfortunately, I am a lazy fuck and I never got around to putting my speakers and central locking cable through, before Sunday but no one else but Nick came with me. Brad went riding, as did Shelley and Tesh. It was a mean sunny day, had a bit of a jam, got yelled at by Nicks mum for distrubing the neighbours, and left at about noon.

I love roadtrips. Grabbed some subway at Bombay. Got down there at about 3, met the dude in New World carpark in a suburb called Gate Pa (wtf?). Checked the guitar out, no wobbly neck, sweet as. Dude gave me some cash for gas which was cool of him, and we decided to go for a drive and check out the Mount (Manganui). Quite a few people on the beach. Nice girls everywhere, including one of my types (black tshirt and jeans on a hot day) lol.

There were tonnes of dicks just driving round and round in their peice of shit cars though.

Left there, Nick had a sleep in the back, while I stalked some chick in a white skyline all the way back to Papakura. Don’t remember what time we got home. Tried out the guitar, its got a mean sound but only on that amp for some reason. Sounds like crap on Nicks amp.

Then stayed up until about 4am playing Far Cry 2 (awesome game).

Man, lots to do this weekend.

Finish at 7am this Sat morning, I’ve gotta get some sleep, then get up, install my front speakers in my van, change the oil, hook up the drivers door central locking, and tune the amp for all the speakers.

Then going to the Psycroptic concert with Joe, Nick, Shelley and her friend Ella, get drunk off my nut, and mosh the fuck out. Should be mean. Gotta buy a Psycroptic Tshirt too. My brother wants to come but he is not 18 for another 15 days. Shame.

Then on Sunday (hopefully not hungover) road trip it down to Tauranga to pick up my gat and amp and hang around Tauranga if its nice weather.

Then on Monday I can install and play Far Cry 2!! Dave bought it in for me tonight, going to be SO mean! Thats another one I can scratch off my list Plus COD5 came out yesterday so hopefully I’ll get my hands on a copy of that soon.

Shit just remembered its my dads birthday on monday too… what am I going to get him… also skinny leaves for Wellington…

Been busy lately making a new site for Telescum, one that will pull telecommunications industry stories from rss feeds into a database automatically tagging them as it goes. It’ll work on a cron so I don’t have to touch it. Because I was to busy/lazy to keep updating the current site I’d rather have one that updates itself. Should be good.

I can scratch one of the games off my to get list. Skinny kindly got hold of Pure, the quad racing game. Is pretty mean. Makes me want to get a quad even more. I’m currently trying to save up $5-6k for a Yamaha YFZ450. Should be fun. Want to get a matching covered and alarmed trailer for my van to keep it in too lol.

Unfortunately I want to buy a guitar now, but I think I’ll just wait until after I get the quad. I been jamming with Nick a bit, he’s got a guitar and I’ve got drums but we swap most of the time. He’s pretty mean on the drums. Cranks out some wicked blast beats. I’m… below average on guitar. But I’m trying. I want to downtune it to play some real brutal chords, but I don’t think it is the right kind of guitar. I borrowed it the other day when I got off nightshift and played all day at full volume, was mean.

Been helping Nick a bit with his truck as well. He bought another Hilux. Already got a Van and a V8 Hilux (the project 88), and now he got another Hilux (for free) and is going to do that up (thats what we went to get the engine for). He’s redoing the rusty panels and stuff in it. Pretty much doing a panelbeaters job, reckons it would be about $2000 work from a professional. Brochanics all the way.

I think lately I’ve been a bit extreme on the attacking religion front. Each to their own and everyone is free to take up a religion of their choice (or not) as per the human rights. So, sorry if I offended anyone.

Also had to say goodbye to a friend today . Shit was just fucked up between us. Sad that I won’t see them again, but thats the way the cookie crumbles.