A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says “get in, get in!” The religous man replies, ” no I have faith in God, he will grant me a miracle.”

Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by and the guy tells him to get in again. He responds that he has faith in god and god will give him a miracle. With the water at about chest high, another boat comes to rescue him, but he turns down the offer again cause “God will grant him a miracle.”

With the water at chin high, a helicopter throws down a ladder and they tell him to get in. Mumbling with the water in his mouth, he again turns down the request for help, he will put his faith of God. The man drowns. When he arrives at the gates of heaven with broken faith he says to St. Peter, “I thought God would grant me a miracle and I have been let down.” St. Peter chuckles and responds, “I don’t know what you’re complaining about, we sent you three boats and a helicopter.”

This joke in light of some stupid stupid fucks who did faith healing on their infant, instead of taking it to an actual doctor. Now they are saying it was their right to practice their religion so they shouldn’t go to jail.

OMG. I think I just figured it out!

You know how the bible says, blahdy blahdy blah, apocalypse, and then there will be a war to end all wars, in the middle east (gods holy land or some crap).

I don’t really remember it completely but I remember watching the movie “Megiddo: The Omega Code 2” where Satan comes back as this dude and starts a war between all the world armies, and then at the end God/Jesus kills everyone but the allied troops (though I thought in the bible it said he would kill everyone). Supposedly the first one is based off the bible, or with an evangelical outlook.

ANYWAY! I was reading a comment on Digg by KLBP on this story about American fundamentalists being no different than Taliban fundametnalists in which he said:

I used to attend an Assembly of God (same denomination as Sarah Palin) in Alaska (not same church) and yes at least from what I have seen they are as extreme as this article claims. They looked for and found evil and demons (yes demons) active in EVERYTHING they disagreed with. For instance they would preach about EVIL-lution (instead of evolution) corrupting our school systems. There was strong encouragement to only do business with and/or hire other “good” Christians (read members of the fundamentalist right) and to avoid doing business with the unsaved because they were possessed by evil spirits. They are convinced that Armageddon is upon us and God’s judgment is eminent. What is worse, some want to hasten God’s second coming by helping to spur on the war between the Jews and Arabs in the Middle East (I am not saying Sarah Palin is one of these ultra extremists).

When you are inside of this influence you don’t see how crazy it is. Now, however, that I am well removed from such influences and look back at what I saw, I realize just how extreme their views can be. I get a cold shiver up my back about the thought that Sarah Palin and these extreme religious views could be one heart beat away from ruling our country. Religious extremism is a clear and present danger, to our society and our attention on extremists from one of the world’s great religions has caused us to turn a blind eye on extremists from another one of our great religions.

Religion is not our enemy, extremism in all its grotesque forms is our enemy. Just as mainstream Muslims must repudiate and be on guard against Islamic fundamental extremists, Christians must also be on guard against and repudiate Christian fundamental extremists. If not held in check, either extreme could do terrible damage to our freedoms and way of life.

The part in bold is what made me put two and two together.

Maybe, Republicans typically being bible thumpers/war mongerors want war and instability in the Middle East so that Jesus will come back, as phropesized in the bible.

This is dangerous stuff! I mean obviously this war is beneficial to many other people but I have heard it said it is all about religion. Maybe it is? Maybe these fundamentalist religious nutjobs are killing millions of innocents just for their own selfish reasons? Why don’t other christians come out and denounce these whackjobs. If they don’t I am going to start pooling all christians into the same pyschopathic war-mongering group.

This is why I despise religion.

Edit: I don’t despise christians tho, just the republican ones

So, a mate at work came up with this theory of the circle of life. It’s pretty morbid, but it makes a lot of sense for some people, and the world wars.

It’s pretty simple, fear of death leads people to become religion, because they want to “live” even after they die (seems greedy to me we are all lucky to even be alive on this earth).

Religion leads to war (and also directly to death), which is responsible for pretty much all wars in history. And responsible for a lot of death. Even Hitler “spoke of Christianity as a central motivation for his antisemitism.”^wiki More people have been killed in the name of God than any other method. God killed over a million people in the bible yet people still think he’s a good dude.

Then of course in any war there is death. Lots of it.

I think maybe if people kept their religions to themselves and didn’t try to convert people we would all be sweet. I have heard many times that like communism and socialism, religion is a good theory, but when you add people into the mix it all goes to shit.

So my mate at work, Jason, is kind of clued up on religious stuff, and was telling me the other night about the new and the old testament.

Apparently the authors of the Old Testament never meant it to be taken literally as a bible, however various people did including Jesus did take it literally. Jesus even says in the new testament “Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets. I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. Amen, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest part or the smallest part of a letter will pass from the law, until all things have taken place.” (Matthew 5:17 NAB).

So therefore we should all be killing our disobedient children, anyone who is not christian, and anyone who works on a sunday! Pretty much how they live in the fanatical middle eastern countries.

I swear, the more I read the bible, the more athiest I become. Maybe if christians read the thing they wouldn’t be christians anymore.

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So I watched the movie Zeitgeist the other night. This documentary about religion and the attacks on the twin towers, war profiteering.

Anyway it was basically saying that all the Christianic, Judaic, and Islamic religions all come from the same religion. I already heard from my old boss that Islam and Christianity used to be side by side, I guess I know what he meant now. Anyway, they are all copied off a myth about the Sun, and 12 apostles, which we now call the Zodiac (star signs anyone). This was the myth in 3000BC Egypt, and it went something like this:

Ages ago there was the Sun and it was called the gods sun called Ra. Every day and every Ra and Set (the dark) would fight. Every morning Ra would win, every evening Set would win. So was the eternal battle of light versus dark (like the theme in the bible). Any there were 12 somethings, Scorpio, Virgo etc, like the 12 Apostles. But yeah, you’ll have to watch it to get the full breakdown. Or you could wiki zodiac and cross reference the main themes/situations with other religions.

Seriously what is wrong with him? It is said that he used to be a head angel, and gods left hand (probably where left-hand-path religions come from). Then he and the angels that supported him tried to overthrow god and then he was banished to the lake of fire blah blah blah… Religions leave it at that. They don’t delve any further.

But what if God started to get a little power hungry and his abuse his power by say, flooding the entire earth and killing everyone cos he was bored? And then Satan was like, fuck that what are you doing, and tried to overthrow him. Revolution. Revolution is a good thing, without revolution those in power could keep that power and abuse it for as long as they want until people (or angels) rise up and tell them to get fucked.

Maybe thats what happened with Lucifer. And now he has a bad name because no one prods around or wants to know what the whole story was, and religion hides that info from you so you don’t ask questions and keep following along with the rest of the herd, wasting your life away as Gods “servant”.

I think Satan gets a bad rap because of this just because he tried to save mankind from an empirical God who killed them all in a flood, and then the ones that did survive he forced upon them the ten commandments which controlled them and denied them certain pleasures that they have the right to. And threatened them with vengeance and “hell” if they didn’t comply to his wishes. Made them abstain instead of indulge.

Its bullshit… this is what the religion Luciferianism preaches anyway.

So I don’t understand really how the creationists get so uptight about evolution. I mean shit, can’t the creationists just say that evolution happens because God wills it so? I mean, is that not sufficient? They have to go all crazy and build a whole museum with people and dinosaurs running around together?

I think if there were people and dinosaurs walking around at the same time it would have been mentioned in the fucking bible.

You believe the world’s 12 thousand years old? “That’s right.” Okay, I got one word to ask you. A one word question. Ready? “Uh-uh.” Dinosaurs.

You know, the world’s 12 thousand years old and dinosaurs existed, and they existed in that time … you’d think it would have been mentioned in the fucking Bible at some point. “And lo, Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus … with a splinter in his paw. And O, the disciples did run a-shrieking: ‘What a big fucking lizard, Lord!’ But Jesus was unafraid, and he took the splinter from the brontosaurus’s paw, and the big lizard became his friend. And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch for O, so many years, inviting thousands of American tourists to bring their fat fucking families and their fat dollar bills. And O, Scotland did praise the Lord: ‘Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord.’” – Bill Hicks

I didn’t actually know that according to the bible the world is only 12,000 years old, worked out from adding all the peoples ages up all the way back to Adam and Eve…? And anyway, if everyone on earth came from Adam and Eve, mating, without any intervention by God as we are supposed to believe, shouldn’t we all be horribly inbred? And isn’t incest a sin of some sort? How the fuck can that happen?