City people

Posted on October 20th, 2010 by hamstar

While discussing guy fawkes…

cityfriend: what is traditionally burn on bonfires?
   sister wants to know
me: on bonfires?
   anything you fucking WANT!
   :D
   tires/mattresses
   mostly dead trees/branches
   people occasionally
   dead animals
   probably a whole bunch of hedgehogs rabbits
      mice rats and stuff that thought it was
      an AWESOME place to live till you set it on fire

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My Poor Mum

Posted on February 22nd, 2009 by hamstar

When me and my brother got home from seeing Joe play the other night we walked in to find a note my mum had left on the ground saying “I HAVE HEADLICE” (apparently caught them from her friends kid).

So me being the smartass that I am, promptly changed it to say: “I HAVE HERPES.” hehehe…

My dad wakes up at 5 in the morning to go to work, sees the note and says to her “Why did you write I have herpes on that bit of paper?”
“I didn’t..?” my mum replied.
“Come look,” said my dad.

She went out and read what it said, and puzzled, went back to bed thinking she had alzhiemers, and wondering how they would test for it, and wondered if she should make an appointment to the doctors (apparently she had forgotten something the week before as well).

Until my brother got up at 7 and came up to her and said “Did you see Roberts note?”

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