Was pretty mean, a band called The Jealous Itch started then it was A Beautiful Chaos then it was Sonic Altar and we left after that.

Anyway the lead guitarist of Joe’s band left so finally he’s able to play some lead. Previously he was doing rhythym in the back, but now he’s mixing the two up. Which is great for him because he’s a wicked guitarist and I think he was a little bit wasted being in the back there. He can do some mean technical riffs of which I shall insert some videos here soon. I thought I had them on here already but apparently not .

But yeah, real good to see him up front, and it was his first time playing lead for the band live, and he fucking rocked it so I’m real stoked for him.

Caught up with him a bit after the concert which was mean cos I haven’t seen him in ages, but had to leave early (1am) cos I was riding with Shelley and Tesh early the next morning.

But yeah, mean shit.

I wake up about 6pm after my last nightshift and find a text from him asking if I wanted to go on a roadtrip the next day. I said yeah sweet and texted the people I was buying my motox boots and helmet from and told them not to post them cos I was coming down country.

So I went for a drink with Becky and B-rad up at the trig. Sitting on the back of the utes watching the sunset over the Waitoki valley drinking beer is fucking mean (if you replace beer with something tastier anyway).

Then me and Brad cruised down to Nicks to see what he was up to, and we decided to go that night instead and drive the 8 hours or so down in the dark. Since I had just come off nightshift I could drive and not fall asleep while Nick slept in the back. With my quad. We thought we’d take the quad too and stop on the way down and back for a blat.

Brad had work so he left about 9pm. “Drive safe, if you get sleepy, just pull over and buy a big bag of crack!” he said as he got in his car. Crack up… lol.

I went for a blat up the road before chucking my quad in nicks van and went home, got a few things and came back, parked my van up and we left about 10:30 pm.

Nick drove until Papakura BP (bout 2230hrs) and then we bought some supplies and dinner (for myself) and I took over. He jumped in the back and slept on some beanbags on the vanbox between my quad and the front seats.

We got to Taupo somewhere around 0230hrs and after filling up the van and bike at BP headed onto the Desert Road. There was some roadworks and we were escorted through the “three sisters” by a roadworks vehicle – to keep our speed down I suppose.

Got to the “end” of the Desert Road at about 0330hrs. Just after you go down a big hill into the valley but before you get into Waiouru. Pulled over in a big gravel pit next to the road and pulled the quad out, got geared up. Nick reckoned I would need a Swani so I put one on but it ended up being too hot.

Did a few donuts and stuff around the gravel pit, cars and trucks driving past like “WTF is that?!” then went down a track into the “army land” till we got to like, a river thing but didn’t want to cross it cos it looked quite strong. Did some donuts on some sand stuff, did a bit of exploring, then went back to the gravel pit and had turns drifting around the van, and then around each other. That thing drifts so good.

Then we loaded it back up and drove onwards. Nick went back to sleep in the back. Got into Porirua at about 8 and went and picked up my helmet, and Nick started driving. Then went to see Nicks mate in the Upper Hutt motorbike shop, hung around there for a while until the guy with the exhaust system texted nick. Said goodbye, then Nick showed me where he used to live. Went to McDonalds for breakfast and saw Nicks other mate drive past on the way there.

I climbed into the back and tried to sleep while we drove to Miramar, told Skinny we’d come see him at work at like 930… then it was 1030, then it was 11. Got to the exhaust guys house, he was at work and Nick had already paid him for the exhaust so we just loaded it into the van. But the Surf it came out of was sitting there along with the engine and gearbox already removed and sitting on the ground. Nick texted him and asked if he wanted to sell them. Got the gearbox for $100 but the engine was already sold. Loaded the gearbox in as well and went to see Skinny.

I couldn’t be fucked sleeping at this point. Got to Skinny’s work at about 1130. Showed him my quad, gave him the US Office Series and his playstation which I had borrowed. Then we left. I texted the lady who had my boots and tried to organise a pickup from New Plymouth but looking at the map it was too far out of the way.

Then she said she needed to go to Wanganui and could meet us there. We needed to go to Horopito to a vintage car parts place and Wanganui was perfect. We stopped and went for a ride at Tangimoana. Had a play on the beach and dunes. Was pretty mean. Unloading and loading the quad was a bit of a mission with all the other stuff we had loaded in the van though.

Got to Wanganui and had subway. Must have looked funny to a bunch of prissy schoolgirls in there. No sleep, barefoot, sweaty, smelly, quad in the back. Had to wait for the lady for a while but eventually she turned up at about 5 and we got the boots and took off up State Highway 4 to Horopito. The start of which is an awesome road, with some nice scenic views.

We left a little too quickly however. About 40k’s away from Ratehi the empty light came on. We forgot to gas up at Wanganui. We were eying up diggers and farm equipment wondering if we could steal a bit of diesel if we needed to, to get to the next gassy. State Highway 4 is scenic, but its a bit back country and far from anywhere *cue deliverance banjo*.

But after 20 minutes of not talking in aticipation of wondering whether we were gonna make it we pulled into the 24 hour Caltex at Ratehi at about 7pm and filled up. I jumped back in the back and tried to sleep again while Nick stopped to try get into the vintage car parts place but it was shut.

Took SH4 around the west side of the mountains, and got back on SH1 at Turangi. Stopped at Taupo for Burger King (I ate so much junk food that trip ). Then carried on. I tried to sleep again but couldn’t.

Nick was getting pretty tired driving and we pulled over at Tokoroa at about 1130pm and got some energy drink and chocolate. Gotta feed the brain with glucose to keep it awake. Then I jumped in the drivers seat so Nick decided to sleep. I jumped back on the highway and followed a B train all the way back to the Bombays. It was wierd I was falling asleep in my seat when I wasn’t driving, but I got behind the wheel after having the sugarfix and I was buzzing, focused as.

Got into Auckland about 1, but got detoured at Papakura, thought we were gonna get mugged at some lights while driving through there. Then got detoured again at Northcote. By this time I was starting to get tired but finally got back to Nicks, parked up and then I drove home in my van.

By end I had been awake for 31 hours with 1 hour sleep, Nick was more than that cos he didn’t sleep very well.

Ended up being 26 hours of straight driving with breaks of no more than an hour. What a mission!

We’re sitting outside at the picnic table, cranking old school stuff like sabbath and eric clapton, all of us pretty wasted.

Topic of laughter for the night was saying smashed pipi, pipi smasher, because the week before. We had been offered (very stupidly) a gig at the Smashed Pipi pub in Mangawhai after some chick at a jam heard us (read: Joe) and thought we were awesome. Which we are, most definitely not.

Topic of laughter, because (as you will know if you already have a dirty mind) pipi representing the female genitalia, and smashing, the act of… fornication. Plus we are apparently 14 years old, thus making it funny. So you can imagine all the euphanisms we were coming up with, including telling threatening each other that we would smash the others pipi if they weren’t careful. Aren’t we evolved.

I get up to go and put on another song, I think I was trying to put on Deep Purple or Cream or something (there was no metal on the jukebox) and instead of hitting 81 on the thing, I hit 61. Which happened to be Vengabus, by the Vengaboys. Man did I feel like a dick, everyone cracks up laughing and points at me while I sit back down, and then they’re trying to make up a combination of my name and vengaboys, with gay taunts and what not. It was to be expected.

Then someone says, “Oh! The van!”, refering to my green van, “The Vengabus!”, “AHAHAHA” and everyone cracks up laughing again… classic…

THe Vengabus

Saturday when we’re on our way to get the engine, Brad texts tesh to ask what the plan was that night. She replies, “I reckon we all get drunk and take the vengabus to the smashed pipi.”

Hehe, good times…

Finish at 7am this Sat morning, I’ve gotta get some sleep, then get up, install my front speakers in my van, change the oil, hook up the drivers door central locking, and tune the amp for all the speakers.

Then going to the Psycroptic concert with Joe, Nick, Shelley and her friend Ella, get drunk off my nut, and mosh the fuck out. Should be mean. Gotta buy a Psycroptic Tshirt too. My brother wants to come but he is not 18 for another 15 days. Shame.

Then on Sunday (hopefully not hungover) road trip it down to Tauranga to pick up my gat and amp and hang around Tauranga if its nice weather.

Then on Monday I can install and play Far Cry 2!! Dave bought it in for me tonight, going to be SO mean! Thats another one I can scratch off my list Plus COD5 came out yesterday so hopefully I’ll get my hands on a copy of that soon.

Shit just remembered its my dads birthday on monday too… what am I going to get him… also skinny leaves for Wellington…

Halfway along the trip we swapped the ute for a big black cadillac thing and horse/llama-float.

Stopped on the side of the road and slept in the sand cuddled up with the horse-llama, the dog ran away, and the 2 swat-team surburbans full of cops turned up and aimed guns at us.

After abusing the shit out of them regardless of the firearm situation, I got traffic infringements for the tiniest things.

Then driving home had to pull in and tell the old guy that his dog had run away. He remarked that it was a wandering little bugger and he would probably turn up sometime.

What the fuck… goes on in my head? Shelley thinks I am on crack.

They’re setting up the factory as like a private workshop for the various hot rods they have and our cars etc etc. Got an engine hoist and they’re getting a car hoist and stuff.

We’re rummaging round in these boxes, and I find a freaking lan cable tester! I’ve wanted one of those for ages. Riki says he’s going to go look through the skip again. So I go with him, and we’re sorting through this skip like a bunch of homeless people, I found me a ethernet card still in its plastic bag. Was mean!

Riki grabbed a whole bunch of clothes out of there as well. Then the guy comes out and hands us this stereo, so we got a couple of bags of stuff. Go back inside cos its raining and Riki’s like “LOOK I GOT SOME PANTS!” and puts on these bloody suit pants overtop of his jeans and starts parading round.

Then nick rips open this other bag, full of suits and suit jackets and shit, so suddenly it turns into a fuckin formal occasion. Sorting through stuff and playing with a big industrial gas heater (like a jet engine), and moving mechanics stuff around in suit clothes. Was random as, we must have looked like such dicks.

So then we took off, van convoy (riki’s, mine and nicks), drove past Becky who didn’t see us at all. Went to the club still in suit pants, and Riki was still flaunting his suit jacket. Got pretty messy after a few jugs. Everyone was down there, Bo, Brad, Shane, Mike, Andy, Joel. Nick’s old man turned up later on with Shelly and Becky, which was awesome. Drinking with that guy is funny.

Stayed pretty late, we were the last ones there and they wanted to close up, but we still had like 3 Pantera songs on the jukebox to go.

Brad tried to do a slide on the way out but spun right around cos his tyre was flat.

Driving back to Caltex for some munchies, Nick and Riki are in the front with me driving, and there feet and hands fucking everywhere – on the roof, windscreen, Riki’s sprawled out trying to knee nick in the face, Nicks grabbing my head trying to pull it into Riki’s crotch and shit. Then Nick finds a can of black spraypaint and starts painting my windscreen! Riki’s yells something incoherent and starts getting his feet in there rubbing the paint all over the place.

We get to Caltex and I’m like fuck it, *handbrake slide*, round the corner into Caltex.

Manged around at Caltex for a bit, then went back to nicks and slept.

That concert was fucking mean. Subtract and Dawn of Azazel ^wiki opened for them, pretty mean.

It was me, Joe, my brother, Nick, Shelley and Becky who went.

The lead singer of Dawn of Azazel has a massive tribal goat head (symbol of rebellion) tattoo on his chest and he is a constable in the NZ Police. They tried to kick him out of the force for being in this band just because it has satanic lyrical content and talks about killing the weak. People in this country are wooses. He also said that Children of Bodom were from Sweden, but they’re from Finland. I’ve seen him before moshing at Amon Amarth, and at Oblivion a few times.

Pretty small venue, the Transmission Room. Like 150 (??) people crammed into this tiny room. The mosh pit was crazy. And then Children of Bodom came on. The only songs I can remember them playing was Needled 24/7, Hatecrew Deathroll, and Mask of Sanity (/fav). All of which went crazy. Little circle pits opening up now and then. I’ve never been so squished in my entire life.

And poor Becky, the look on her face. I’m sure she’d never seen anything like that before. But she was still getting in there and moshing with everyone. Was a little bit embarassing when my hand was squished against her boob by a wave of people hahaha. She was cool about it tho. Afterwards when we were all sitting in BK she was like “holy fuck you’re all a bunch of freaks, never again” rofl.

And there was some guy behind us who kept chanting “Tits, out, for the boys, Tits out for the boys”, so annoying, I so wanted to turn around and punch him in the face… but he was kinda big. Jerk.

Every time a song started you’d just get pushed and thrown from one side of the pit to the other, coming across your mates every now and then. Shelley was loving it getting in there and shoving people (what she does best lol). Hardly even saw my brother, Joe was standing off to the side cos he was a bit sick from the mould in his room at home . So most the time it was just me and Nick, and then it occasionally Shelley and Becky would turn up.

By the end of it I thought I was going to vomit from exhaustion (and the only thing I’d had to eat was a Red Bull). Everyone was just soaked in sweat. You could even see sweat and vapour dripping down the walls, and probably off the roof too. Was siiiick. I wonder if they even had the Aircon turned on.

Then as everyone left the streets of Auckland become over run by bogans and metal heads. Everyone else is like what the fuck as these rowdy cunts cruise down the footpaths, stopping occasionally to thrash out a drunken or stoned metal riff on their air guitar. In the middle of the road.

So just had some BK and then went home. Fucking mean night.

I was sober driver (cos I don’t drink anyways) so we all piled in the van and cruised into town, parked at work. Stopped at the burger place. Shelley and Becky took off for the waterfront and we headed to Oblivion.

$10 cover charge cos there was a band playing, turned out to be Troy’s workmate. Then Boric turned up, then THEY PLAYED DETHKLOK! Was mean, I was wearing my dethklok shirt (still am ), so high fives all round and moshed out to that haha!! Everyones looking at us like wtf is this shit.

Silly people from Real Life

Then Shelley and Becky turned up and there was more dancing, played some Pantera and some System and Walk With Me in Hell. Was badass… most of the other songs were pretty woosy tho.. little bit disappointed.

Then Troy, Hollie and Kat (Cat?) took off home by taxi, and me and Shelley and Becky went for a lurk to see if there was anything to steal/vandalise/break into lol. Those girls are trouble I tell you especially when drunk. Shelley is so funny when she’s drunk, and a bit softer too haha (pls don’t hit me). And Becky is just quirkier than normal. Laughs all round.

Hey I think I just saw lightening..!?

Anyway, then we tried to go to Mount Eden (to freeze our asses off in the cold wind) but it was shut so just came home.

Then last night I went up to Zac’s place with Skinny and Co-oped Guitar Hero 3 Took my guitar so was all wireless baby! Yea. Was mean.

Hey I think I just saw lightening again….

Went back to sleep and this random as dream. Don’t know where it was, maybe america somewhere. Me and Lilley were working(?) there for some reason. It was a place that looked like a cross between an office and a kitchen, but most people were playing games like UT.

Anyways there were some drinks or something and everyone was getting trashed and I think doing mushies. Was pretty fun. Could’ve been a representation of IRC perhaps?

I think someone spiked Lilley’s and she was getting a bit messy, then it was time to go and I ended up looking after some random chick and some dude was looking after Lilley. I was watching her incase that was the dude that spiked the drink but she looked with it and like she knew him so I didn’t worry too much.

We had to walk back through this forest place path thing the girl I was looking after got picked up and I came accross Lilley alone in the forest thing. I was like “Who the hell would just leave you alone here?”, and walked off with her.

That’s pretty much all I remember…

So I went to my parents to drop off some stuff and along the way stopped in at Becky’s where Shelley was. They wrote this list thing of all these things to do, random as shit. Went and got a feed, got some sand (it was on the list). Seriously those chicks and liquor makes for some soul-cringingly quirky times, jeez.

Went to Becky’s friends house for a while, got assaulted by a huge labrador, then left there, did a handbrake slide in the van to turn around (also on the list), then they decided they wanna go to town so I’m like sweet whatever we’ll hook up with my flatmates.

Went back to Becky’s, she got changed and I found a crapload of books at her house about programming and linux and stuff (apparently her brothers a geek), so nabbed a few of them to read. Went to Shelley’s for her to get changed then cruised into town.

Almost got to Oblivion which is where my flatmates were but didn’t have any cash for the cover charge (must have been a band playing or something). So went to get cash then we get a call from Nick, telling us to meet him up at the uni, saw him coming down the road so we jumped in his van. Parked up at the uni, started lurking around, they were having a sook cos they didn’t wanna pay a cover change. So we manged around there for a while, then went to the domain and saw some “witches” which are actually just statues.

Then went and hung around the museum, pretty boring. I wanted to mosh dammit. Brad and Nick stayed in the van, while I went and watched the girls didn’t get raped. Gave Becky a good fright, made her scream.

Then they dropped us back at my van, and drove that back (with “Skanks on Board” written accross the back). Tried to find an open Burger King but they were all shut (at like 2am on a Saturday!?), so we just got chips and stuff instead.

Some filthy boon tried to sideswipe me and the guy in the passenger seat looked like he was doing that barking thing that Maori kids in NZ tend to do. Pack of wankers.

Then I see Nick coming up in my rear view mirror, going pretty fast so I’m like “hur-hur” and tap my brakes, but he doesn’t stop. Ends up pulling into the next lane just in time. Brad said it was so close, they actually thought they hit me because they hit a catseye at the same time hehe!

Would’ve been nuts, the girls are like singing away and shit and bang! Rear ended at 120km/h. The 2 kayaks in the back of my van decapitate us as they shoot through the windscreen. Good times.

Went back to Nick’s/Shelley’s house, pigged out and crashed. I actually wanted to go home, but I couldn’t move from the couch.